Relationship Question & Answer

Heya!

Lately I have been having the urge to share my dating stories and so I will be going over my dating woes and joys (mostly woes) here and there. I am not really a dating disaster but you cannot seek dating advice from me either.

So, I decided I bring a Relationship Q&A on here. Relax; grab you something (coffee, tea, G&T…whatever helps you relax) and let down some steam as we go down and dirty the mjolo quandaries. 

DISCLAIMER: Lest you decide to take away some ‘words of wisdom’ that is totally at your own free will and at your own risk…do not say you were never warned. 

WHAT ARE THE FIRST THINGS I LOOK AT IN A GUY?

Fingers!!!! I cannot stand dirty fingers. Funny? Sure, but dirty nah. I think fingers are an indicator of hygiene. I don’t mind funny looking fingers (mine aren’t so great anyway) but dirty and long nails on a guy, mark me absent. 

Then there’s other things like teeth. Shorty story…I recently met a guy and No, I did not have intentions of pursuing anything but he approached me and he wasn’t shabby or anything like that. BUT! His teeth, oh my gaaad…the gungey, yellow slime that smiled at me threw me off. Honestly guys, we should take care of ourselves, I can never over emphasize this, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. 

I never expect someone who approaches me or vice-versa lol to be the Miyamiko version (gosh other children!) but you can at least put some effort lawe.

WHAT’S THE WORST DATE I HAVE EVER BEEN TAKEN ON? 

At this my big age, I haven’t been on many dates, thanks to “so uyabuya nini ng’khaya” typa guys. But from the few dates I have been on; they weren’t really bad, lucky me. 

This one time, I went to an ice cream date. It was my first date and I had just finished secondary school. So, guy buys us ice-cream and we walk to the park. I don’t know how we made it there without them melting. Mind you, sis was over the moon and ecstatic about being on a date not with her #BFF this time as it always has been, but with a boy. A living human boy! 

We make it to the park and I cannot even begin to describe how my stomach did little flips of excitement and nervousness every second. Throughout the whole date I kept giving myself a pep talk that I shouldn’t mess this up because this guy needs to go home with a perfect image of me. 

But of course! Because l am me, that didn’t happen. I chocked on. I may have avoided that by being me and eating at normal fast pace but because l had a cute image of myself to give that guy, l ate slower than usual. I coughed like l was about to vomit both my lungs out. It was terrible. But that wasn’t my worst date, maybe the kiss, my first kiss made up for it but of course there was embarrassment. 

IS IT OKAY TO SLEEP WITH A GUY ON THE FIRST DATE? 

If the mood takes it there, why not? What I wouldn’t do is to force myself or be forced into taking the dip. This is only because I want to be in charge of myself, this is the first date after all. 

I’m aware of the shame that comes with doing the deed on the first date but we also get shamed for not having sex or wanting it after a certain period after the first date, or not being interested in it enough.

And then if I happen to do it with a guy on the first date and he ghosts me then it’s my fault because I ‘gave it up’ too soon and no girl does that. We seem to be able to excuse all types of shitty behaviour by men because women, did, didn’t or wouldn’t have sex with them – yes, ghosting is shitty!

So, at the end of the day, It’s decisions! decisions! decisions! despite all the made up ‘dating rules’ some bald chap conceived. 

TO BE CONTINUED…