To the man I zoned…

Dear John,

Well well, here we are…to the third letter. Just so you know; I have written 2 before this one. One to my crush and one to the man who never called. This is what I have to say to you…of all the many things I regret, and I mean many, one of them was making you feel like you’re nothing.

Of all the letters I have written before, well, at least publicly, this is the most hard. It was easy writing to my father or to my crush because I knew how I felt but with this one I have to again deal with guilt and maybe even regret.

But you see, you never had good timing. You and I could have had something but I was already in a something with someone. I could have stringed you along if I wanted to but I couldn’t (ngangidlisiwe). But I was also to blame because I wasn’t transparent. I could have from the outset told you that I am in a thing but I didn’t.

In all honesty, I started avoiding you and you got the message and you acted accordingly. Just so you know, it hurt that you got the message…I am not sorry, us girls are confused creatures like that or maybe its just me.

See, in as much as I had that little confusion going on; at the back of my mind I knew I didn’t like you…not in that way. I liked you as a person but it was never more than that. Now you may ask why and I ask you to accept this reason, it was just that…I didn’t like you in a way enough for us to make it a thing.

And this is where the guilt comes in, I feel like I should have had good reasons as to why I zoned you, but that is just it. And that’s just how it is; in whatever I do chances are high that someone will get hurt or not be happy about it.

I had to keep myself away from you because it would have led to unnecessary confusion for me and hurt for you. That’s the best I could do and there’s nothing more to say…

Guilty as charged,

The girl who zoned you.