The heartbreak I was never warned about: hurts far more than a lover walking away

Batlao hurda!

No really, they will hurd (hurt) you.

A friendship breakup can hurt and break your heart just the same way splitting with a partner does, or even more. So, while we concede the trauma that comes with romantic breakups, we don’t really talk about the fallout of platonic separations – but a breakup is a break up. Yhu ha.a shame, kuLit.

All the regular degulars on here will know I am the queen of being ghosted (if anyone knows a term used for people like me, please let me know). Baby girl ghosted me. You know one minute there is that bond, the trust, the laughter, the vulnerability with each other and gossip – oh the gossip! And the next minute its poof, gone.

So this girl, we vibed from the first day we met. The way we became friends was kinda cute if I do say so myself. I liked her, genuinely so. You know those people you meet and they don’t have to do or say anything for you to like them? That was me with her. Not only was she nice, but she was smart (I’m sure she still is), loyal (until the last minute lol), spontaneous, hilarious, and most important, she always supported me whenever I needed her…be it with faking sickness to bunk class or anything big.

Fast forward to years later, something happened which I don’t want to disclose, and to me it never made sense as to why she would ghost a nice girl like me. It still doesn’t and now I will never know because baby girl never approached me about it so I only have my point of view for reference.

Having a fallout with someone close can be emotionally tiring more so when conversations are never had. I mean it makes it easier to deal with it when you talk about it or at least if the other involved party does the talking and they decide to keep quiet afterwards, it’s only fair. At least then you know what’s up.

Have I survived the heartbreak? Hell yeah. How did I survive it? I don’t know and I am not clear as to how. Remember sis didn’t tell me what her problem was and I kept playing the scenario over and over in my head (I still do to this day) – I can’t see what went wrong. I tried playing it from her perspective and the more I thought the whole thing to be silly to cause a whole break up. It could have been only her to make me see the whole thing the way she does. But now that I mention it, I realise that maybe this constant reflection is my way for dealing with it?  

But just like with a heartbreak from a partner you master the courage to pull yourself together. And I did just that. I found all my pieces, picked up new ones and built myself into the fiercest lady I could picture…I am lying LOL (I just wanted to sound cool and wise). I more like had the “fuckit” attitude because I wasn’t going to sit and mop around for the rest of my life over what I don’t understand and something I probably will never hear the other side of the story.