Relationships and Distance: A GUEST POST

Passionately crafted by: Mthulisi #KingKG Ndlovu

A genuine dedication to lovers and prospects.

One of the greatest causes of emotional unrest, distrust and fatal breakups to many prominently promising relationships has been non other than the failure to handle the effect of distance. If we were to be questioned by our current counterparts on whether can we withstand and manage the pressures that come with distance in relationships a hell lot of us will confidently node and exclaim “yes my love as long there is love, I shall forever be yours!” I strongly believe that there are a few fundamentals that one must be able to abide to and or embrace, before we even think of us being able to conquer and overcoming the challenges of managing distant relationships. These fundamentals include, though not entirely exhausted and limited to self trust, communication, honesty and fully understanding your personal flaws.

SELF TRUST

In most cases when committing ourselves into various relationships we at most cases think that earning trust from the person that we love is the most important factor ever! Wait what did you just read? Ohk! ohk wait! Please re-read that statement once more. In reality l sincerely believe it’s a very big biased blunder under the basis that; before we even think of trusting and being trusted we must first do a self introspective observation on whether we personally trust our own selves or not. Intriguing right? Hahaha!! ohk let’s break this down, trusting our own selves is a result of constantly abiding in our own set values at whatever cost. What we do when we are alone or in a place where we are not really well known must also tell us more of who we really are. In IsiNdebele they say ‘Umuntu weluswa yinhliziyo yakhe’, under this specific aspect this can simply translate to; if we become honest to ourselves then our instincts and conscience shall always be our shield against straying. Being trustworthy is a hustle, it’s hard work, it’s commitment, it’s sweat, it’s courage and believing that your values matter most before you think of compromising.

COMMUNICATION

When we love we express, when we express we reveal the hidden mysteries that are at most cases suffocated by genuine ignorance, when we reveal the hidden we actually make it easier for the next person to understand us better and more intimately than we actually do ourselves. It becomes easy for them to understand you and be geared or encouraged to put some efforts towards building and nailing your intended relationship goals. Naturally it intrigues and challenges one to meet you halfway through!

Whether distance or not communication remains the middle balancing pillar of a relationship. Love is honesty and honesty is expressed through communication be it verbal or through actions, it both matters. Communication definitely relieves the burden of misconceptions and assumptions that usually tend to haunt many relationships that have great potential. Telling your partner how you feel about small things, your likes and dislikes, your expectations, asking how they are, wishing them a good day, telling them you love them now and again, what makes you sad etc, yields emotional securities and enhances emotional connection between partners. This really plays a huge role in building and strengthening bonds especially in long distance relationships. Try it and ‘pay’ me later!

HONESTY AND UNDERSTANDING YOUR FLAWS

This one I think is simple and straightforward. When one is truly in love, they mustn’t be shy or scared to air out what is not sitting well with them or sharing with their partners about their greatest fears and or what their partners are doing that is threatening their peace and space in a relationship.
By so doing this makes the two parties to be aware on the do’s and the dont’s. Stability in relationships do not come like mana from above, hence a lot of sacrifices are needed.

Honesty breeds reliability, whereas reliability yields confidence, and confidence giving birth to trust, hence from all these; true love eventually becomes inevitable to triumph against all odds. Above all pray for your relationship and ask God to give you courage to pull through!!

Be blessed and stay blessed!

Mthulisi ‘#KingKG/KhuluGatsheni’ Ndlovu
Record Holding Poet| Academic writer| Leader| Philanthropist| Founder and President of TROVOCO Trust| Afro-can.

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