A teetotaler? Maybe in my next life: Why I choose to take the poison I take

First things first, I would like to say that alcohol is both a tonic and a poison, it just depends on the dose. I am sure we all know the consequences of heavy drinking and this blog is not about that. So, whether or not I am a heavy drinker that is not the purpose of this blog.

Before we dive in,  I think being a ‘drunkard’ is subjective, because to me, I can drink every day of the week and not get drunk-drunk and that doesn’t make me a sdakwa. A sundowner never hurt no barrry. But, to me, when you drink daily and get weekend drunk then you is a drunkard…but that’s just according to me. I don’t know what a drunkard to you is.

Of reasons why I drink alcohol:

It’s nice: that taste of dry red on my tongue is inexplainable – anyway, does it not lower the risk of heart disease? Once upon a time, I was the girl that was never going to touch a beer, but I am that beer girl now. Give me Zambezi anytime of the day. That shit is nice and I think the fact that it’s made in Zimbabwe adds to it. There are a lot, and I MEAN A LOT of things about my beautiful country that break my heart, but Zambezi fills that gap-for that moment. It almost makes up for those things. With that first sip, I am like; “at least there is one good thing from this ************** country! *TAKES A BIG GULP*

I cannot forget to mention how alcohol brings girls together. Half the time, girls are b****** to each other; I don’t know why. The love we give each other in the bathrooms though is beautiful. This past weekend I got to help a girl try and vomit. I remember tying her braids and trying to fix her dangling eyelashes. That is the beauty of alkahol sometimes. She failed to vomit and the lashes were left still dangling but she washed her face and that seemed to help. A few weeks back, in a toilet again, a girl told me I am beautiful and I agree with her…good things happen between intoxicated girls in a toilet.

It’s a hot day: Lately its super-hot and you could do with just one, one cold Zambezi. I swear there are parts of a body that a #ZamBAEzi can get to that a glass of cold water won’t. And likewise, sometimes I can get thirsty for water and not even a cold beer can do justice…nah mean? Don’t ask me about cold winter days, somehow a cold beer still goes down.

A good day is also another reason to drink…could be celebrating something; for you or someone close. A bad day can also lead to that…you know that day where it sucked at work or mjolo is doing the most (facing the dating scene sober sounds horrible NGYAZDLALELA), whatever it could be lol. And those “meh” days could use something to spice it up.

Because its Gin with lemonade. Yes, please and thank you…good or bad day; gin is welcome.  

It’s a social lubricant! Show me something else that is?! People drinking alcohol are happy people. That kind of happiness is honestly fulfilling. Everyone in that space is almost feeling the same thing… and that’s happiness. Drinking alkahol makes you friends. So, point to note: sometimes being greeted by almost everyone in a club doesn’t make you a **** y’all just happen to see each other from those spaces almost every time. You know that, “Oh heyyyyyyy!” moment? It’s like you know each other but you really don’t. 

Alcohol cures hangovers, so it’s only right.

Also, blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol…if you know, you know!!!!!!

Sometimes you just feel like it…no big deal.

NB:- I DON’T NEED TO DRINK ALCOHOL TO HAVE FUN but it gives that thing and just so you know…MODERATION IS KEY (sometimes lol).

Drinking is such a small percentage of life (unless YOU allow it to be otherwise), that teetotaling shouldn’t be the main focus of your life. You’re so much more than sober, so who gives a shit if you’re sober? Who?